Happy Birthday, Gary.

You would have been 49 this year, as I am now, which is almost half a century. At least it's not as old as Paul. But you will always be 36 you bastard.

I keep saying I'm going to let go of you, and in some small ways I have. I shared those ways with you privately in San Diego last year when I visited you there and you were happy for me. I feel that by clinging on to your memory, I may be holding you back from something else you've got to move on to. Not sure I believe that but what I do know is I will never completely let go. How is that even possible with seventeen years of memories like those we shared? And there are so many others who feel about you as I do.

This has been an especially rough year. Things did not go as planned. And to be honest...I'm not 100% sure you and I would have agreed on a specific matter that was vitally important to me. You and I did not always agree on everything but that was okay. Our friendship always survived. And it will always survive because I will never forget you. Knowing you, following your advice, ignoring your advice...it changed my life for the better,

Maybe I'm alarmist but I'm usually right about these things. I fear that dark days are ahead and we could use your strength now more than ever but at least I can imagine what you would say, and that always helped me through. Just as it will now.

Here is a picture I took on July 22 of this year, the anniversary of the day we lost you. I was running and stopped to take it because it made me think of you.

Until next time, my friend. All my love, Rich

10 years ago

10 years ago my brother Gary Fullerton died while doing the one thing he has wanted to do since he was a teen. Flying F-18s was something he had dreamed about doing and was determined to be a fighter pilot. He knew going in to the Marines he wasn't guaranteed a spot flying F-18s, but that didn't bother him. He knew that was what he was going to do with the Marines.
Gary was an inspiration to everyone who knew him. He was always telling me that I needed to join or start a rock band. Others told me how hard it is to be in a band and make no money. I finally joined a band, and we're making almost no money but it's building and we're having too much fun. He would never say to give up. Never listening to the no's in life was the biggest thing I learned from Gary.
Around midnight tonight will be 10 years to the minute when I got a call from my mom telling me that Gary had died. I didn't believe. Gary was too good at everything he did. He was able to stay up first time water skiing. He would snow ski down triple black diamonds. He ran triathlons. If we played racquetball I would get really excited to score one or two points. There was no way he could have had an accident in his plane.
If there is one way to go, wouldn't it be to be doing something you love? I know that Gary isn't sad that he's gone. He did more in life by 36 than most of us do in 100.
I miss my brother every day and wish he were still here to show us what he would have done by 46, but then I realize that he's still doing great things. I look at my family and his friends and see what they do in honor of Gary. Because of Gary, potential Marines get the chance (thought a scholarship in Gary's name) to go to college to be a Marine pilot and officer. Because of Gary, his family and friends don't give up on things just because of difficulties.
We all miss you and you will never be forgotten.
Until we meet again.

Ten years

Ten years ago, on the morning of July 22, 2004, I received the worst phone call of my life. The day before, Major Gary Fullerton had been in an F-18 accident over Washington state. At the young age of 36, he'd been taken from us. It's been difficult trying to cope with Gary's death and on more than one occasion I've wished that it had been me in that jet instead of him, that's how much I've missed him.

I'm not alone in feeling that way. Gary was the type of guy who did anything for his family and friends and those close to him would have done anything for him. Dealing with the loss of anyone you love, especially when that loss is so sudden and unexpected, is a terrible process but Gary was an extra-special person making the grief even more painful. He was disciplined, yet flexible. He was focused but had a fun sense of humor. He got the job done and had a great time doing it. He was my friend and he tried to teach me so much about how to embrace life and relish it as a gift. My problem is that I still had so much to learn about all that from him when he was tragically stolen away.

I'm beginning the process of rebuilding my life. The memory of Gary - the example of his kindness and the love he had for his family and friends - sustains and guides me now. I have many decisions to make and like I did when he was alive, I ask him for advice. Even though it's been ten years and two weeks since I last spoke to him, I can still hear his voice in my head as he answers, counseling me with wisdom and compassion. Whether I wanted to quit Officer Candidate School or drop out of law school or write a book, he'd say, "You know what the right thing to do is, just don't be afraid to do it." I need that advice now more than ever; because I have the memory of Gary Fullerton, I will apply that advice and live a better and happier life because of it.

We miss you, Gary, but we will never forget you!

Happy birthday, Gary! Semper Fi, Rich

This was a post sent from family in Scotland.

Lynda Gibson (Stoddart) has left a new comment on your post

Thinking of you and your mum on this your anniversary.

Family, divided by water but united in Grief, we met but for a brief moment in time, long enough that your memory is etched in our hearts so short that we are deeply saddened never to know you better.

May your light continue to shine in all who were honoured to know you, with Love from your family in Scotland

Happy Birthday Gary.

Happy Birthday Gary. It's 7 1/2 years later and it still feels weird to not have Gary here. Granny can help celebrate your birthday with you this year. We have another pet in the house now. Her name is Jade and she's a black short hair cat. She and Sydney aren't the best of friends yet. You are still missed, and always will be.

Gary memorialized as part of Clemson's "Scroll of Honor"

(Rich Merritt here, writing this note to Gary's friends and family as well as to people who are only acquainted to him through this site or to his legacy in the Marine Corps and at Clemson University.)

Last Thursday family and friends of Major Gary Fullerton joined the crowd at Clemson University's Memorial Stadium. The occasion was to participate in Clemson's dedication and memorial service of the "Scroll of Honor" commemorating Clemson alumni who've given the ultimate sacrifice defending the nation and the ideals it represents. Gary was one of 471 honorees. This link will take you to Gary's section of the online part of the memorial.

The Fullertons established a fund at Clemson to provide scholarship assistance to Marine Officer Candidates. Please consider contributing to the fund. (follow the link in the column to the right) The more we give, the more help we can offer to the future leaders of the Marine Corps.

WSPA has a brief video on the origination of the memorial that you can view at this link and the Greenville News reported on the ceremony. Rather than repeat the facts, I've pasted the article here interspersed with our photographic memories of the day.

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CLEMSON — The names of 471 Clemson alumni killed in military service have been set in stone beside Memorial Stadium.

For some family members who came to see the Scroll of Honor unveiled Thursday, it was an emotional moment.

The names carved in stones are set into a tree-encircled grassy mound, and their stories are preserved on a website where each one has a page and people can add pictures, thoughts and memories.

Easily more than 1,000 people, most of them family and friends of Clemson alumni who died in war, came Thursday to honor those who served as the Scroll of Honor was dedicated on a picture-perfect spring day.

“Their bodies are buried in peace, but their names liveth forever,” said retired Col. Ben Scarden, who survived the Bataan Death March and whose life was saved in a prisoner-of-war camp by two Clemson classmates. They never made it home and now their names are inscribed here.

The Scroll of Honor, across the street from the East Gate of Clemson’s Memorial Stadium and Howard’s Rock, is “a permanent reminder of the sacrifices of those Clemson alumni and their families,” said retired U.S. Army Col. Danny Rhodes, who was co-chairman of the project along with retired Brig. Gen. Hap Carr.

“Service and sacrifice to you are not just words. They are reality,” said keynote speaker retired Col. Larkin Spivey, who served in Vietnam, writes books, and lost twin uncles — Clemson alumni who died flying a bomber over Holland together as pilot and co-pilot.

“We understand the full tragedy of war only when we understand that real lives in the present and the future are affected,” Spivey said. “They were real men and women with real families.”

Duane Ryan, student body president, accepted the gift of the memorial from the Clemson Corps to the university on behalf of the student body. It is “a poignant reminder of the responsibilities that accompany being a citizen of a free country,” he said. Students contributed $150,000 to the project, Ryan said.

Of his many “wonderful opportunities to represent my alma mater,” Clemson President James Barker said there have been “none more meaningful than today.”

This “remarkable space” is a “sacred place,” Barker said. It is both “companion and completion” of Clemson’s Memorial Stadium, given its name in 1942, in the midst of world war, to honor alumni who made the ultimate sacrifice.The only sound was a baby’s cry as Clemson ROTC cadets slowly lowered the Stars and Stripes during a memorial service that was part of the dedication, voicing the emotion felt by many, like Taylor, who remembered loved ones.

“It is important that we remember those who gave their lives in service of our country to give us freedom,” Anne Cargill said. “All of those who are honored are real heroes, and it’s important to keep their names immortalized.”

They were immortalized Thursday, with full military ceremony, 21 shots fired in salute by Clemson’s Pershing Rifles, and the lonely bugle playing “Taps.” A woman in a yellow dress wiped her eyes repeatedly but tears wouldn’t stop flowing.

Far beyond the campus, on Capitol Hill, U.S. Sen. Lindsey Graham made a statement for the congressional record Thursday to mark the event. The Scroll of Honor, he said, is “a testament” to Clemson’s “continued commitment to honoring those who serve our country.”

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We're not kidding, Slim.
We will never forget you!