Happy Birthday, Gary.

You would have been 49 this year, as I am now, which is almost half a century. At least it's not as old as Paul. But you will always be 36 you bastard.

I keep saying I'm going to let go of you, and in some small ways I have. I shared those ways with you privately in San Diego last year when I visited you there and you were happy for me. I feel that by clinging on to your memory, I may be holding you back from something else you've got to move on to. Not sure I believe that but what I do know is I will never completely let go. How is that even possible with seventeen years of memories like those we shared? And there are so many others who feel about you as I do.

This has been an especially rough year. Things did not go as planned. And to be honest...I'm not 100% sure you and I would have agreed on a specific matter that was vitally important to me. You and I did not always agree on everything but that was okay. Our friendship always survived. And it will always survive because I will never forget you. Knowing you, following your advice, ignoring your advice...it changed my life for the better,

Maybe I'm alarmist but I'm usually right about these things. I fear that dark days are ahead and we could use your strength now more than ever but at least I can imagine what you would say, and that always helped me through. Just as it will now.

Here is a picture I took on July 22 of this year, the anniversary of the day we lost you. I was running and stopped to take it because it made me think of you.

Until next time, my friend. All my love, Rich

10 years ago

10 years ago my brother Gary Fullerton died while doing the one thing he has wanted to do since he was a teen. Flying F-18s was something he had dreamed about doing and was determined to be a fighter pilot. He knew going in to the Marines he wasn't guaranteed a spot flying F-18s, but that didn't bother him. He knew that was what he was going to do with the Marines.
Gary was an inspiration to everyone who knew him. He was always telling me that I needed to join or start a rock band. Others told me how hard it is to be in a band and make no money. I finally joined a band, and we're making almost no money but it's building and we're having too much fun. He would never say to give up. Never listening to the no's in life was the biggest thing I learned from Gary.
Around midnight tonight will be 10 years to the minute when I got a call from my mom telling me that Gary had died. I didn't believe. Gary was too good at everything he did. He was able to stay up first time water skiing. He would snow ski down triple black diamonds. He ran triathlons. If we played racquetball I would get really excited to score one or two points. There was no way he could have had an accident in his plane.
If there is one way to go, wouldn't it be to be doing something you love? I know that Gary isn't sad that he's gone. He did more in life by 36 than most of us do in 100.
I miss my brother every day and wish he were still here to show us what he would have done by 46, but then I realize that he's still doing great things. I look at my family and his friends and see what they do in honor of Gary. Because of Gary, potential Marines get the chance (thought a scholarship in Gary's name) to go to college to be a Marine pilot and officer. Because of Gary, his family and friends don't give up on things just because of difficulties.
We all miss you and you will never be forgotten.
Until we meet again.

Ten years

Ten years ago, on the morning of July 22, 2004, I received the worst phone call of my life. The day before, Major Gary Fullerton had been in an F-18 accident over Washington state. At the young age of 36, he'd been taken from us. It's been difficult trying to cope with Gary's death and on more than one occasion I've wished that it had been me in that jet instead of him, that's how much I've missed him.

I'm not alone in feeling that way. Gary was the type of guy who did anything for his family and friends and those close to him would have done anything for him. Dealing with the loss of anyone you love, especially when that loss is so sudden and unexpected, is a terrible process but Gary was an extra-special person making the grief even more painful. He was disciplined, yet flexible. He was focused but had a fun sense of humor. He got the job done and had a great time doing it. He was my friend and he tried to teach me so much about how to embrace life and relish it as a gift. My problem is that I still had so much to learn about all that from him when he was tragically stolen away.

I'm beginning the process of rebuilding my life. The memory of Gary - the example of his kindness and the love he had for his family and friends - sustains and guides me now. I have many decisions to make and like I did when he was alive, I ask him for advice. Even though it's been ten years and two weeks since I last spoke to him, I can still hear his voice in my head as he answers, counseling me with wisdom and compassion. Whether I wanted to quit Officer Candidate School or drop out of law school or write a book, he'd say, "You know what the right thing to do is, just don't be afraid to do it." I need that advice now more than ever; because I have the memory of Gary Fullerton, I will apply that advice and live a better and happier life because of it.

We miss you, Gary, but we will never forget you!

Happy birthday, Gary! Semper Fi, Rich

This was a post sent from family in Scotland.

Lynda Gibson (Stoddart) has left a new comment on your post

Thinking of you and your mum on this your anniversary.

Family, divided by water but united in Grief, we met but for a brief moment in time, long enough that your memory is etched in our hearts so short that we are deeply saddened never to know you better.

May your light continue to shine in all who were honoured to know you, with Love from your family in Scotland

Happy Birthday Gary.

Happy Birthday Gary. It's 7 1/2 years later and it still feels weird to not have Gary here. Granny can help celebrate your birthday with you this year. We have another pet in the house now. Her name is Jade and she's a black short hair cat. She and Sydney aren't the best of friends yet. You are still missed, and always will be.

Gary memorialized as part of Clemson's "Scroll of Honor"

(Rich Merritt here, writing this note to Gary's friends and family as well as to people who are only acquainted to him through this site or to his legacy in the Marine Corps and at Clemson University.)

Last Thursday family and friends of Major Gary Fullerton joined the crowd at Clemson University's Memorial Stadium. The occasion was to participate in Clemson's dedication and memorial service of the "Scroll of Honor" commemorating Clemson alumni who've given the ultimate sacrifice defending the nation and the ideals it represents. Gary was one of 471 honorees. This link will take you to Gary's section of the online part of the memorial.

The Fullertons established a fund at Clemson to provide scholarship assistance to Marine Officer Candidates. Please consider contributing to the fund. (follow the link in the column to the right) The more we give, the more help we can offer to the future leaders of the Marine Corps.

WSPA has a brief video on the origination of the memorial that you can view at this link and the Greenville News reported on the ceremony. Rather than repeat the facts, I've pasted the article here interspersed with our photographic memories of the day.

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CLEMSON — The names of 471 Clemson alumni killed in military service have been set in stone beside Memorial Stadium.

For some family members who came to see the Scroll of Honor unveiled Thursday, it was an emotional moment.

The names carved in stones are set into a tree-encircled grassy mound, and their stories are preserved on a website where each one has a page and people can add pictures, thoughts and memories.

Easily more than 1,000 people, most of them family and friends of Clemson alumni who died in war, came Thursday to honor those who served as the Scroll of Honor was dedicated on a picture-perfect spring day.

“Their bodies are buried in peace, but their names liveth forever,” said retired Col. Ben Scarden, who survived the Bataan Death March and whose life was saved in a prisoner-of-war camp by two Clemson classmates. They never made it home and now their names are inscribed here.

The Scroll of Honor, across the street from the East Gate of Clemson’s Memorial Stadium and Howard’s Rock, is “a permanent reminder of the sacrifices of those Clemson alumni and their families,” said retired U.S. Army Col. Danny Rhodes, who was co-chairman of the project along with retired Brig. Gen. Hap Carr.

“Service and sacrifice to you are not just words. They are reality,” said keynote speaker retired Col. Larkin Spivey, who served in Vietnam, writes books, and lost twin uncles — Clemson alumni who died flying a bomber over Holland together as pilot and co-pilot.

“We understand the full tragedy of war only when we understand that real lives in the present and the future are affected,” Spivey said. “They were real men and women with real families.”

Duane Ryan, student body president, accepted the gift of the memorial from the Clemson Corps to the university on behalf of the student body. It is “a poignant reminder of the responsibilities that accompany being a citizen of a free country,” he said. Students contributed $150,000 to the project, Ryan said.

Of his many “wonderful opportunities to represent my alma mater,” Clemson President James Barker said there have been “none more meaningful than today.”

This “remarkable space” is a “sacred place,” Barker said. It is both “companion and completion” of Clemson’s Memorial Stadium, given its name in 1942, in the midst of world war, to honor alumni who made the ultimate sacrifice.The only sound was a baby’s cry as Clemson ROTC cadets slowly lowered the Stars and Stripes during a memorial service that was part of the dedication, voicing the emotion felt by many, like Taylor, who remembered loved ones.

“It is important that we remember those who gave their lives in service of our country to give us freedom,” Anne Cargill said. “All of those who are honored are real heroes, and it’s important to keep their names immortalized.”

They were immortalized Thursday, with full military ceremony, 21 shots fired in salute by Clemson’s Pershing Rifles, and the lonely bugle playing “Taps.” A woman in a yellow dress wiped her eyes repeatedly but tears wouldn’t stop flowing.

Far beyond the campus, on Capitol Hill, U.S. Sen. Lindsey Graham made a statement for the congressional record Thursday to mark the event. The Scroll of Honor, he said, is “a testament” to Clemson’s “continued commitment to honoring those who serve our country.”

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We're not kidding, Slim.
We will never forget you!

Birthday Message

Gary, it was your birthday last week and we should have been celebrating. How can we celebrate, when we miss you so much?

The years go by, but time stands still in the depth of the pain left behind by your leaving us.

We will always miss you Gary, this can't change, and can't be fixed, so we go on each day and make it through the best we can.

Love always,

Mum & Dad

Happy Belated Birthday Gary

Since I didn't get on here to say happy birthday on your birthday, I thought I would say it on mine. It's funny, but there are always times when I think "Gary would have liked this". I got the new Star Trek movie for my birthday and I remember first seeing it and thinking "Gary would have liked this". I seem to do this every time I see or experience something you would have liked.

We have a new dog and cat (Sydney & Sam), and as usual I know that you would love Sydney. He's a Cattle Dog, so he think he can herd us where he wants us.

Again, Happy Belated Birthday Gary!!!!

Love,

Phillip

Gary:
It was five years ago this morning when I got the awful news so even though July 21st is the horrible date, I think of the 21st as my last day of ignorant bliss.

A few weeks ago it was the TWENTIETH anniversay of Tiannamen (spelling? who gives a f) Square. I recall how we watched that incident in the hotel the night before going to PLC-Srs and we didn't give a shit about anything in China that's for sure. Twenty years man, can you believe it? Remember that Staff Sergeant Instructor who said to you, "Candidate, you got no lack of discipline!" and like the smart ass you are you said, "Thank you, Sergeant Instructor!"

I talked to your mom Monday night and was in a much better mood after that, strangely enough considering everything. I remember how full of life you were even in your darkest days, always doing stuff and never letting situations get the best of you. You were always in charge of yourself, even when everything around you might have been chaotic. I try to remember that example you set and apply it. It's not easy.

Anyway, not much going on here in New York, except that we have two puppies now and they take all our time. You would love them both, I remember how upset you when my little dachshund Rocky would get the best of your Gomez. Well these littls guys are FIERCE. Too fearless actually, they think Dobermans and Rottweilers are their equals. The girl is a total slut too, she concerns me. Don't see how people have kids I would be a basketcase.

Here are some pics:



















Whatever advance party you're on for the rest of us, I hope you get everything squared away before we get there, don't f it up, okay? Yoo know me, I don't want much, just a beachfront villa and five-star restaurants.

I miss you and it doesn't get any easier. Whatever fool said "Time heals all wounds" never had a real wound, that's for sure.

All our love
Rich

5 years later

Gary,
5 years seems so long ago now but at the same time that day is fresh in my mind (a little after midnight on the 22nd actually for me). It's funny how you can sometimes not remember what you did the day before but some days stay with you for your whole life. We all miss you and time won't change that.

Happy 41st Birthday Gary

It's hard to believe another birthday is here. It is always a bitter sweet day, but I know each one of us who love you, while at the same time missing you, are celebrating the beautiful life you lived and what you meant to each of us individually. You did live your life to the fullest and blessed every one of us.  Even though you accomplished so much, it was always people that were most important to you. You made sure those in your life knew they mattered--both to you and as individuals--and what a difference this made to so many lives, including my own. Thank you for this. Thank you for sharing your life, your friendship, your spirit. Happy 41st Birthday to you Gary.

Elizabeth

Happy Birthday Slim

We visited today;

John, Katherine and me, to wish you a Happy Birthday.

Rosecrans is such a beautiful place and being with the kids makes it easier. They love visiting you and the questions they ask always amaze me and make me smile.

I imagine you are smiling when you hear them too! And likely thinking up some smart-alec answer that I would end up having to explain!

We all love you, miss you and think of you every day.

Happy Birthday my friend.

Love

Tammy

Happy Birthday Gary

Happy Birthday Gary. If you taught us all one thing it was to be happy with what we have and what we are doing. There is a soldier in my church that has been in Iraq. He has been at church for the last couple Sundays. To see him with the two small children that were with him reminds me that we all have something for which to be thankful. Not knowing the soldier, I would assume being home for Christmas has to be a blessing.

Gary and his birthday reminds me that we all need to live, love and enjoy the time that we have with the people that mean the most. I will always remember Gary and the time I did spend with him, which looking back I always wish was more. He was an important person in many people's lives. He was a friend, brother, son, officer and he would have been a great father too I'm sure even though his time on earth must not have been meant for that.

One thing I think we can all do on his birthday is remember Gary's life. Birthday's are meant for celebrating life, not death, so even though it is a difficult day for those close to him, maybe we can remember all the good things and smile a little through the tears.

Happy Birthday Gary!

What makes it so happy

Without you here, "Happy" Birthday tomorrow seems like the wrong thing to say, but when I think about all the happy times we had, it DOES seem appropriate, in its own way. I remember how happy we were to get 24 hours off on the weekend at Officer Candidate School and how happier still to be graduating. Bar hopping in Columbia, crashing on the floor in the OSO's office, how you learned how to water ski in like 15 minutes. Happy to finish a 5-mile run across the levees at Clemson, or atop the hill in beautiful Laguna Beach. I remember how happy I was to get a phone call from you because we sure as hell didn't make those calls frequently enough. I was always happy to know how in synch we were with our lives even if we were apart.



I was glad to know you were getting happy again, I could tell it in your voice the last time we talked. And I can't help but believe that you are happy wherever you are now and that someday we will be reunited and the happy days will resume.



You would love my new puppy, he's pretty fierce, he's friendly, everyone loves him, but he's aggressive and not afraid of anything. Many times I've wished you could meet him. So here's a pic...

Gary, I wanted to make a post on Veteran's Day because on days like this I want you to be reminded that you are our Hero. Have been thinking of you all day, feeling proud of how you served our country but also wishing so intensely that you were still here. I was thinking about the time you helped me write a paper for school on honoring our veterans and how much I learned from listening to your own personal perspective. I remember thinking how wonderful a process it turned out to be, I started with an academic assignment but ended up with something  that ultimately was very personal, meaningful and concluded with a better understanding of the honor that is due to our serviceman.  I learned a great deal from you in our relatively short period of time. You taught me about forgiveness (deserved or not, you gave it), about humility (honest humility--even though you were the most amazing man I had ever met), about selflessness (always, always thinking of other people and other people's needs), about compassion (you had the biggest heart), about tolerance (I never heard you judge someone else and your example kept me in check) and of course, about living life with steadfast dedication and full ambition (your dedication and ambition to excellence in life remains to this day my biggest inspiration). Anyone who knows you would say "Yep, you must be talking about Gary!". It goes without saying that the life you led is a living example of those virtues I strive to imitate. I hope you know the gifts you gave to us while you were here. And how I miss you more than ever. 

Here's to you on Veteran's Day!

Elizabeth Hansson

getting old

Gary - miss you. Was just thinking about you and how much you meant and still mean to me. you've got a birthday coming up. 41. Wow. You bastard, you'll never get old fat bald or gray. You'll always be the young physically fit prophet of mass in our minds. Hey, wherever you are, don't push them too hard. Not everyone can be a Marine. But I do expect pefect PT scores by the time I get there.
S/F
Rich

From Gary's roommate at Quantico...

I was just talking to an old Marine Corps buddy and I got to wondering how other friends from my days in the Corps were doing. I did search on Gary and was shocked and saddened to read about his death.

Gary was my roommate at the Basic School. He was a great friend and motivator. I was introduced to his family during our training in Quantico when he and I took a trip to Spartanburg. His father and brother (I don’t remember which brother) made sure we felt at home when we were awoken with a live rendition of Revelry. I regret loosing touch with Gary over the many years and feel for his family.

I last saw Gary at Camp Pendleton when he came to visit his friend Rich Merritt, then serving at 3d LAAD Battalion. He was now an official aviator in the United States Marine Corp. I’m glad he was able to fulfill his dream. You couldn’t help but feel good for him and I knew the Marine Corps got a good man to fly fighters for them.

God bless and Semper Fidelis Gary. Thank you for being a friend.

Patrick GallagherCaptain, USMC
August 27, 2008 2:37 PM

On my mind...

Gary you have been on my mind and heart all week. It's peculiar how without even looking at the calendar we know the date by what is etched in our hearts. I look to the sky often, knowing you continue to soar above us and know one day we will meet again. You are loved and missed.

Carolyn

Gary,

Yesterday was Memorial Day. I think of your everyday.  I miss you everyday.  I thank God for you and for the life you lived and the joy you gave to me and to each person you interacted with.  But yesterday I thought of you-- The Marine, The Soldier, the ultimate sacrifice you gave to our country.  You loved this country, you were genuinely patriotic and so proud to serve.  We are honored, this entire Nation, your family, your friends who love you dearly, are honored and humbled by the years of service and the passion and dedication you served with until the last moment.   And now you live on, in another form, but just as much in my heart and each day in my memory. 

Thank you, Gary, for loving our country, for loving what you did, for protecting our freedom and serving with such honor. I am so proud to know you, Major Gary Robert Fullerton USMC.

Elizabeth Hansson