You would have been 49 this year, as I am now, which is almost half a century. At least it's not as old as Paul. But you will always be 36 you bastard.
I keep saying I'm going to let go of you, and in some small ways I have. I shared those ways with you privately in San Diego last year when I visited you there and you were happy for me. I feel that by clinging on to your memory, I may be holding you back from something else you've got to move on to. Not sure I believe that but what I do know is I will never completely let go. How is that even possible with seventeen years of memories like those we shared? And there are so many others who feel about you as I do.
This has been an especially rough year. Things did not go as planned. And to be honest...I'm not 100% sure you and I would have agreed on a specific matter that was vitally important to me. You and I did not always agree on everything but that was okay. Our friendship always survived. And it will always survive because I will never forget you. Knowing you, following your advice, ignoring your advice...it changed my life for the better,
Maybe I'm alarmist but I'm usually right about these things. I fear that dark days are ahead and we could use your strength now more than ever but at least I can imagine what you would say, and that always helped me through. Just as it will now.
Here is a picture I took on July 22 of this year, the anniversary of the day we lost you. I was running and stopped to take it because it made me think of you.
Until next time, my friend. All my love, Rich
