10 years ago

10 years ago my brother Gary Fullerton died while doing the one thing he has wanted to do since he was a teen. Flying F-18s was something he had dreamed about doing and was determined to be a fighter pilot. He knew going in to the Marines he wasn't guaranteed a spot flying F-18s, but that didn't bother him. He knew that was what he was going to do with the Marines.
Gary was an inspiration to everyone who knew him. He was always telling me that I needed to join or start a rock band. Others told me how hard it is to be in a band and make no money. I finally joined a band, and we're making almost no money but it's building and we're having too much fun. He would never say to give up. Never listening to the no's in life was the biggest thing I learned from Gary.
Around midnight tonight will be 10 years to the minute when I got a call from my mom telling me that Gary had died. I didn't believe. Gary was too good at everything he did. He was able to stay up first time water skiing. He would snow ski down triple black diamonds. He ran triathlons. If we played racquetball I would get really excited to score one or two points. There was no way he could have had an accident in his plane.
If there is one way to go, wouldn't it be to be doing something you love? I know that Gary isn't sad that he's gone. He did more in life by 36 than most of us do in 100.
I miss my brother every day and wish he were still here to show us what he would have done by 46, but then I realize that he's still doing great things. I look at my family and his friends and see what they do in honor of Gary. Because of Gary, potential Marines get the chance (thought a scholarship in Gary's name) to go to college to be a Marine pilot and officer. Because of Gary, his family and friends don't give up on things just because of difficulties.
We all miss you and you will never be forgotten.
Until we meet again.

Ten years

Ten years ago, on the morning of July 22, 2004, I received the worst phone call of my life. The day before, Major Gary Fullerton had been in an F-18 accident over Washington state. At the young age of 36, he'd been taken from us. It's been difficult trying to cope with Gary's death and on more than one occasion I've wished that it had been me in that jet instead of him, that's how much I've missed him.

I'm not alone in feeling that way. Gary was the type of guy who did anything for his family and friends and those close to him would have done anything for him. Dealing with the loss of anyone you love, especially when that loss is so sudden and unexpected, is a terrible process but Gary was an extra-special person making the grief even more painful. He was disciplined, yet flexible. He was focused but had a fun sense of humor. He got the job done and had a great time doing it. He was my friend and he tried to teach me so much about how to embrace life and relish it as a gift. My problem is that I still had so much to learn about all that from him when he was tragically stolen away.

I'm beginning the process of rebuilding my life. The memory of Gary - the example of his kindness and the love he had for his family and friends - sustains and guides me now. I have many decisions to make and like I did when he was alive, I ask him for advice. Even though it's been ten years and two weeks since I last spoke to him, I can still hear his voice in my head as he answers, counseling me with wisdom and compassion. Whether I wanted to quit Officer Candidate School or drop out of law school or write a book, he'd say, "You know what the right thing to do is, just don't be afraid to do it." I need that advice now more than ever; because I have the memory of Gary Fullerton, I will apply that advice and live a better and happier life because of it.

We miss you, Gary, but we will never forget you!