Ten years

Ten years ago, on the morning of July 22, 2004, I received the worst phone call of my life. The day before, Major Gary Fullerton had been in an F-18 accident over Washington state. At the young age of 36, he'd been taken from us. It's been difficult trying to cope with Gary's death and on more than one occasion I've wished that it had been me in that jet instead of him, that's how much I've missed him.

I'm not alone in feeling that way. Gary was the type of guy who did anything for his family and friends and those close to him would have done anything for him. Dealing with the loss of anyone you love, especially when that loss is so sudden and unexpected, is a terrible process but Gary was an extra-special person making the grief even more painful. He was disciplined, yet flexible. He was focused but had a fun sense of humor. He got the job done and had a great time doing it. He was my friend and he tried to teach me so much about how to embrace life and relish it as a gift. My problem is that I still had so much to learn about all that from him when he was tragically stolen away.

I'm beginning the process of rebuilding my life. The memory of Gary - the example of his kindness and the love he had for his family and friends - sustains and guides me now. I have many decisions to make and like I did when he was alive, I ask him for advice. Even though it's been ten years and two weeks since I last spoke to him, I can still hear his voice in my head as he answers, counseling me with wisdom and compassion. Whether I wanted to quit Officer Candidate School or drop out of law school or write a book, he'd say, "You know what the right thing to do is, just don't be afraid to do it." I need that advice now more than ever; because I have the memory of Gary Fullerton, I will apply that advice and live a better and happier life because of it.

We miss you, Gary, but we will never forget you!